A family trip to the Zoo!

My wife just reminded me that I should blog about our family trip to the zoo last Sunday. I think she figures that I will have something funny to say about it. Hmmm....Ok let me think. Let's start with the assumption that on a Sunday afternoon there certainly wouldnt be that many people wanting to go to the Zoo. Isnt that supposed to be a Saturday thing? Yeah, not so much! We leave work/church and get to the zoo about 2:00pm. We were directed to some remote lot outside of the main parking area and from there all the way to the back of the lot. We had to be one of the last spots on the remote parking lot. We dressed into shorts while in the car (which was acrobatic to say the least) and head out on our adventure to find the front gate. After wandering the wilderness for 40 years we find it. This is where God has not given any of us a gift. We ask CJ to choose a ticket line and sure enough he picks the slowest one. <- Yet again proof that he's my child! Ok so we get our tickets, we get in and head off towards the monkeys. Always great stuff at the monkey's. CJ feels right at home! Lily wonders why the one monkey has a big red thing hanging from it's butt! I tell her it's just a built in seat cushion. She just agreed. We ride the train over to the Texas themed part of the Zoo. We saw some cool stuff and let the kids play in the a barn/playground. Unfortunately we had to stop that short since some child decided to emulate the zoo animals and just relieve themselves on the floor. We're outa there! We then go and see a cool weather show and then to a part of the zoo that highlighted Texas animals. They were the ones wearing goofy hats and Wranglers yelling out "howdy Yall!"
We then move on to CJ's favorite parts - The Snakes! Snakes are just creepy. You can't pet a snake or play fetch. You can't even speak to snake like you would a cute fuzzy zoo animal. For example: You see a baby panda bear, you say "Awwww look at the cute little panda bear. (in a much higher baby voice) 'Hi little panda wanda, arent you so cute?'" If you see a snake you never find yourself saying "Awwww look at the slimy venomeous snake, hi little snakey wakey." You'd probably find yourself saying "SNAKE! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" as your run away screaming like a little girl. I know I would.
Ok so we get to see the crocs and the dragon (which according to CJ breathes fire) and we got to see the Lion. The lion was cool! He roared for us...no kidding a full fledged roar. It was intense...It literally shook the ground. This was a true highlight of the trip. Speaking of highlights, Amy and I agree that the funniest highlight was not an animal but instead something that CJ said. He read a sign that listed prices for different people and it said that Seniors get a discount. CJ read it like this "Hey look, sinners get a discount!". Now that's funny!.

So we ended up closing down the Zoo and when we finally got back to our car there was only 10 or 15 cars left in the whole lot. We get in and everyone but the driver went immedietely to sleep. I would have liked to sleep but they say that's illegal and somewhat dangerous. Why can't they make a car with a built in chauffeur? After all they can make a monkey with a built in seat cushion can't they?

I love my kids!
Brian

Lily's new name!

Yesterday CJ gave Lily a new name when she was caught picking her nose. Here's how it came about. Amy catches Lily picking away and I tell Lily that it's gross to pick your nose and that if people see her picking nose they won't be able to call her Lily Grace anymore. CJ then completes my final statement by saying "Yeah, they'll call you "Pick Booger Lily" instead.

My kids are greatness!

Brian

One of the highlights of the week!

My kids soccer games are by far one of the highlights of my week. Hurricane Lily blankets the field and rains on the oppositions parade. Super CJ is faster than a speeding soccer ball and is like a wall of steel on defense. Both kids are probably the top players on their team. I really don't know where they get it but I suspect from Amy.

We have games on Saturday, I'll try to get some pictures.

Brian

Amy and I having fun on her computer.

Amy's iMac has a built in camera with some cool effects. We made several of these but I thought since were known for our toothy smiles, I thought I would show them off in a very special way.





I'm an idiot!


I love my wife!
Brian

CJ has a crush!

No kidding! The kids 6 years old and already has the girls after him. Oh and not just any girl, oh no he's got the prettiest girl in his class after him. Ok "after him" is a relevant term. "After him" means that she is writing love notes to him and walking with him at recess. In turn, CJ has passed a few love notes back to her. It's pretty darn cute to say the least.

I'll post more as this little romance develops.

I love my kids!
Brian

No one is invited to my house!

You read the headline right...no one is invited to my house! It's not because we don't want company or that we don't desire a hospitable house. No it's because our house has been taken over by one of our dogs or at least the smells of our dog. You see Snaps is the cutest, most wonderful dog in the world, she just has some gas and urine issues. First, she has a bad liver that we have to treat with steroids. The steroids cause her to eat like a pig and bloat up. Do you know what happens to things that bloat up? Oh yeah, that's right they let the air out. Snaps toots constantly! You would think she has woopie cushions attached to the bottom of her paws. The toots are rather audible and brotha are they deadly! In addition, Snaps also has a mess of big honkin boulders in her bladder that cause her to pee all the time and in everyplace. We literally have invested in carpet cleaner and towels. We're going to get her bladder fixed and then we're going to replace the carpet. Then and only then will we invite anyone to come to our house. We will still have the gas issue but for those enough to brave the smell, you may enter at your own risk. You will need to sign the injury waiver when you get to the front door -that's in case you faint. We have gas masks available for rent.


Notice the PB&J skidmarks on Lily's face. I'm sure Snaps was more than willing to help lick those off of her face.

I love my dogs!

Brian

I talked to my girl!

I talked to Ashlyn today and she said she had a great time at her prom. Of course, I gently scolded her for not calling me yesterday with the news. After all I am only a concerned parent simply looking out for my kids happiness and well being......Ok, I'm lying...I am a deeply troubled, sicko father who wants to know how good or bad the hairy-legged, testosterone-laden, teenage boy treated her and if I need to open up a can of woop-ass on the child. <- Wait...I can get fired for those comments! Good God what am I saying? Look at me....someone call in a therapist! Breath Brian Breath!
Pause..............................................................................

OK, welcome back to Brian's rant...I mean blog. I hope you've enjoyed reading this blog for it may be the last time you do. Soon the police will be here to take me to jail for potentially threatening a child. I'll plead "father insanity"! Hopeful the judge will be the parent of a teenage girl and will have mercy on me. Be my luck, the judge will be the mother of the teenage boy that took Ashlyn to prom. Oh well, this blogging thing sure was fun.

Oh by the way, I'm ordering this book from Amazon. I'll have plenty of time to read it when I'm in jail.


I love my kids!
BDH

Prom was last night!

Ashlyn went to prom last night....oh I'm feeling faint again....Ok I'm ok.....I hope she had a good time. I have to admit I'm getting over the fact that my little girl is not so little anymore and I can deal with boys showing interest in her.....oh boy my head is feeling funny!......I'm ok...I'm ok....ok...so..Yeah, I can deal with those things (not well but I'm getting better) but my biggest issue is that many times prom is either the greatest time a girl has in their lives or it's the worst time in their lives. I really want her to have had the best time. I haven't heard from her yet but I eagerly await how it went. I'll let you know!

I love my girl!
Brian

My two 20 year class reunions!

I've just recently learned of my two 20 year high school reunions from the high school I graduated from (Canyon High School - New Braunfels, TX) and of the one I left in the middle of my sophomore year (Alpine High School - Alpine, TX). You would think I would just go to Canyon's reunion but it's just not that simple. I need to go to the Alpine's reunion as well and here's why: First of all I spent 5 great years with my friends in Alpine, including my Jr. High years when I was in all my pubescent glory! My friends at Canyon only spent 2.5 years with me and it took nearly .5 years of that time to get in the flow and make friends. Now after graduation I was able to spend some time with some of my friends at Canyon but only a few. In College I spent some time with at least one friend from Alpine...my friend Jasper. Cool name huh? Jasper and I were best friends in Alpine and we couldnt be from any different lives. I was the son of a prominent builder and lived in a great home in a delightful area in Alpine. Jasper's dad worked but didnt make much and Jasper lived in a small run down house in the middle of town. He grew up without many luxuries and he pretty much raised his younger brother. I considered his life to be sub-par at best. Jasper didnt see it that way. His attitude was that of a wealthy man with everything going for him. To this date, Jasper still has that attitude. He let's nothing get him down. He's been through the ringer and dug himself some pretty deep holes but he's managed to get himself out of them with a smile and confidence that tomorrow is a new day. That's a gift very few people possess. The only other friend I have that posseses that attitude is my friend Hal. He lost his mother at age 14 and ended up living with his Aunt in NB. Pretty much from that time on he had to raise himself. He had some very special people help him along the way but for the most part he cleared his own path. God was and is obviously part of Hal's life. Hal's attitude completely avoids defeat. He won't see it. Defeat is only temporary for Hal. Inspiring to say the least. I have other friends that are good friends but for the most part I've stayed closest to Hal. In fact, I'd say we're family.

I can't wait to see everyone at my two reunions. It will take me down memory lane and then some. I also can't wait to introduce my lovely wife and kids to everyone. I'll tell everyone about this blog and some of them may even read an entry or two. Most will not and I probably wont see them again until we have another reunion. I'll probably have this same issue then too. I'll post pictures of the events. Sounds like it will be fun.

I love my friends!
Brian

Sigh! My oldest baby is going to prom.

This Saturday night my oldest little girl is going to prom..............PROM! I feel faint, so if this blog stops suddenly you know what happened. My beautiful Ashlyn is going to her first prom....with a boy.....aaaahhhhhh I feel the fainting coming.......Ok breath Brian, breath!...........Ok I'm back. I know Ashlyn has been out with boys before but I think it finally hit me. My little girl aint so little anymore! She's a gorgeous young lady with a wonderful personality. She's perfect in so many ways, at least to her dad. Now my gorgeous, wonderful, perfect little girl has evil ol' hairy-legged, testosterone laden teenage boys chasing her and there's nothing I can do about it. Oh no....there's that fainting feeling again....oohhhh oooohhhh.........

A very cool Masters.

Today Tiger Woods didn't win the Masters! That wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to win and everybody was supposed to be happy with it. He hates to lose more than anyone in the world and you almost feel sorry for him when he does. You get that feeling he goes home without saying a word to anyone for days. He probably just pouts and throws his clubs all over the yard. You know, you can do that if you're Tiger Woods?

Now the guy that did win was this little Christian fella from Iowa named Zach Johnson. He wasn't supposed to win. He was one of those guys who was supposed to be happy with Tiger winning. I guess he thought he would just rock the boat a little. Good for him! I like people who rock the boat a little. I hope Zach takes his new green jacket that you win at the masters and sleeps in it for a few days. He deserves it. He played like a champion and he praised Jesus for all of it. He essentially praised The Master for allowing him to win at The Masters. This was indeed a very cool Masters.

I love Golf!
Brian "I'm not Tiger Woods or Zach Johnson" Holt

The Masters!

I have a dream! My dream is to someday go to Augusta, GA for an entire week and watch the worlds best golfers play on the most beautiful golf course in the world. I'm refering to of course, The Masters. <- The Pinnacle of golf.

My dream schedule would look like this: Play golf Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at three different golf courses- maybe 36 holes a day! On Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday - watch and marvel at these amazing golfers at Augusta National Golf Club. It would be a dream come true.

I would be crazy to think that this will happen any time soon or ever at all but you know God loves me and if it's His will he'll bless me with this. Oh God Pleasy Weesy!

The picture is of the 11th hole of Augusta National. Makes me want to cry! It's God's handy work with a little help from some very talented men and mowers.

Thank God for TV - at least I can watch it for a little while on Sunday...I hope.

I love my Golf!
Brian "I'm not Tiger Woods" Holt

A great week!

This week we celebrate the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus <- The greatest event of all time. Without the resurrection the Christian culture would probably only exist as a group of people who honor a martyr once a year. The word "Christian" would be rarely heard and there certainly wouldn't be very many churches. I don't even want to think about the state of the world right now if Jesus never came. Way too scary to even comprehend. Some believe it was all a hoax and that a bunch of ol dumb shepherds figured out a really good way of making money. I don't know about you but if I was following Jesus and it all ended at the cross with no resurrection, I certainly wouldn't have risked my life and gave up everything I've ever known to make up a story about how Jesus came to life and died for the world's inequities. That seems like a complete waist of time and possibly the craziest way to make a living that I could ever imagine. No, I think those dumb ol' shepherds lived through the most incredible, most beautiful event that ever happened. I think they gladly gave up their lives after seeing the most perfect person that ever lived, die a horrific death, get buried in a guarded and sealed tomb and then become alive again. They knew at that moment that God had given the world the ultimate gift. They knew the moment that they saw Him alive again they hadn't made a mistake. I would have loved to be one of those dumb ol' shepherds. They got the opportunity to personally hang out with God. With God!..Wow folks...that's just incredible to me. Just incredible!

For those who read this and think the whole resurrection thing is crazy talk, I understand, I used to think it was crazy talk too. It just doesn't make sense to "rational" people in this day and time but what's funny is that God knew that we would feel that way when he did it. He requires people to have FAITH. <- a dirty word in today's "prove it" culture. Believing the whole Bible is God's word requires faith too, that's why people bash it as well. They believe that the Bible was just a book put together by a bunch of dumb ol' shepherds and worked over by a bunch of greedy ol' kings. I've read and continually read the Bible and I've got to tell you, I will spend the rest of my life trying to get a grasp of it's infinite wisdom and won't even get close to understanding it all. For a bunch of ol' dumb shepherds and greedy ol' kings they sure were smart and selfless in their approach towards telling the world how amazing God is.

I love this week for the reasons I mentioned above. It's more important than Christmas, the Super Bowl and even American Idol. It happened 2000 years ago and it's just as significant now as it's ever been.

Thanks Jesus for what you did and what you continue to do.

I love My God!
Brian

CJ Astaire

My son is really a pretty good dancer for a 6 yr old. He didn't get any talent from his dad, I can guarantee that! His mother has a few moves and is where he gets his coordination. Of course, she's perfect so that makes sense. Now I do have rhythm but I can't move my hips very well...that's because I have a big ol' belly in the way! CJ has not an ounce of fat on his body and is nothing but a solid ripped little muscle...that helps alot. CJ also has a bit of style in his dancing...just like Fred Astaire. In fact, I picture a young Fred Astaire at age 6 dancing all over his house just like CJ is doing now. I think CJ dances to get attention but I also think he dances simply because he feels the music and his body takes over. Lily is our singer and songwriter. She performs all the time too. It's pretty cute. Just picture CJ's face in the picture above. Maybe we have a little Broadway act cooking up here at the Holt Time Theater?

I love my kids!
Brian

My love of golf! Part 1

This will be short I promise! That's because I want to share my golf-life with everyone. I have none!

The end!
Brian

PS. Even the stooges had a golf-life!