Tales of the Great Holt-Ysses - Part 3 "St. Thomas"

Ahhhh! Waking up to a beautiful island and a warm coastal breeze. St. Thomas was our first stop on our cruise. We were already there when we woke up and I decided that a morning jog was in order. I worked out, showered and ate breakfast. Amy just enjoyed sleeping in. We decide to check out the shopping in St. Thomas since that is what it's famous for. I think it earned this reputation years ago when it was probably actually cheap. Now it's just as expensive as full scale retail place in the states. Oh I imagine you can find a deal here and there but for the most part it is pretty expensive. In every island we stopped at the same people own the same shops, selling the same old thing: Jewelry, linens, liquor, cigarettes, beach wear, and overall tourist crap. Notice I put jewelry first, that's because over the stretch of 7 days we probably passed up 100+ jewelry stores, all with the same stuff and most with the same name. It would be like going to a strip center with say 12 stores and out of those 12 stores 9 of them are jewelry stores and 6 of them with the same name. Weird!

We ended up buying a few little souvenirs here and there but the fun part of the trip was going up on a sky tram that took you to the top of a tall mountain. Up on top was of course more places to shop but also a restaurant. We ate a chicken sandwich and listened to a one man band. The singer looked like Bernie from Weekend at Bernies. He sang island/beach music and was pretty good. Cheesy island songs galore but hey when in Rome!

It was in St. Thomas that you get your introduction to what was in store for the rest of the trip. Everything cost money and everybody has their hand out. Go loaded with $1 bills because you're going to have to tip everyone you get near. It's pretty amazing. Here's a scenario: Brian walks up to a local to get directions to the market. The local turns around with a "deposit cash here" sign and a bucket to drop the money in. He tells you where to go but before you know it, he has already signaled his cousin in a nearby taxi cab to come and pick you up to go to the market. Before the cousin arrives three guys have already propositioned you to go to the market in their own taxi. You get in the car and before you know it your giving that guy taxi fare and tip. Of course, he's dropped you off at a location where his cousins can hit you up to show you where you "can find the best price on diamonds". You avoid this place because if you're like me you don't have money to buy diamonds. My wife wishes we had the money but hey I also wish I was on the PGA Tour and notice that neither one is a reality. In any case, we run from there and look around trying to find a place to avoid having someone hit us up for money when we finally find ourselves in a safe place (so it seems). But no within 10 seconds someone will approach you about going on an excursion and the price will "only be" $120. At this point you give up and give the excursion man his $120 and he signals for you a cab. The cab of course is driven by one of his friends or relatives and you have to tip that guy! He takes you to the excursion and you tip those guys. By the time you get back on the boat that afternoon you have spent $1.2 million in $1's and $5's. I should have bought diamonds, they would have been cheaper.

Ok so we liked St. Thomas but it wasn't our favorite island. That's coming in a future episode. The next island is St. Maartin or as the French call it Sint Maartin or something like that.

See you there.