What were they thinking?
Ok, here it is the blog you've been waiting for.....the famous "What were they thinking?" blog. For some of you (my audience of one....me) this blog is way overdue in the blogging world. This is the blog of all blogs, so without saying the word blog any more than 8 times in one paragraph lets get on with the "What were you thinking?" blog.
It all started one day nearly 5 years ago when my son CJ was born. Oh what a beautiful day, a day unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I got to witness the miracle of childbirth, I got to show my son off to the world and I got to share all of this with the most perfect woman in the world. What was amazing is that CJ actually slept through most of the night his first night. I thought we had we had it made UNTIL (booming music ques here..BOOM BOM BUM!) CJ choked a little in his sleep and then something very different happened to me and my wife. Something very strange and very much from the depths of our souls. Our bodies miraculously jumped up with super power swiftness and within one second we were both hovering over our little baby CJ ready to perform complicated medical procedures on him. It was unbelievable! CJ of course cleared his throat and went back to sleep. Amy and I on the other hand lost one year of our lives right then and there and we had no idea that this little episode would be just the beginning of "what were we thinking?"
Now the hour glass of life has been steadily dropping sand quicker than ever before with the birth of our second child Lily. It appears that at this rate we will be dead before this blog is finished. I say this because our kids were both born with an innate ability to shock us with their "creativity". Just today CJ decided to see what would happen if he were to stick his plastic golf club into the flame of a Citronella torch in the back yard. He found out that he no longer has a plastic golf club but instead has a golf clump. A work of art in some circles but to me it was just another case of "What was he thinking?" My daughter not to be out done by CJ-angelo, decided that she would transform her lunch of mini-pizzas into a large single tower. It leaned a little to one side and yes, you've got it, we had Lily's leaning tower of pizza. I should have bronzed it and sold it on Ebay. I don't know what she or CJ were thinking but I figured both of the kids were probably just being under-supervised by their dad and I just have to ask myself "What was I thinking?"
Now, "what were we, I, they, and you thinking?" moments happen all the time and as the title implies they don't just happen to the kids they happen to Amy, the puppies and me. I won't get into Amy's "WWIT?" moments because knowing my wife she planned what ever it was out and like any woman's decision it was just supposed to seem complex and mysterious to me as a man. My puppies have had a few "WWTT?" moments but hey, they are only 90% human so they have the excuse of having a few of those times and it's ok. The other 10% of them is a dog with very high anxiety. <- Wow that sounds alot like my anatomy. Hmmmmm? Ok, well anyway so I'll just focus on me and my kids and that's because they are my kids and they are the reason why these blogs were written to begin with. I personally hope someone who is a psychoanalyst will read this blog and give me thier best assessment of my mental condition (wacked out or really wacked out?).
I have a top 3 "What where they thinking?" moments I would like to share and hopefully other parents can relate to them. From my kids, #3 is entitled "beach head", that's because one day Lily and CJ decided to get into a fight inside the sandbox. To me that's like getting into a fight with yourself. No one wins and the more you fight the worse it is for you. Let me tell you that sand has a way of making into places that it shouldnt. You've seen the 3 stooges skits where Larry, Moe and Curly get into a pie fight and all you see of thier face are eyeballs and hole where their mouth is. That's exactly what CJ and Lily looked like except that it was dreaded sand. I got to the fight too late and by that time....well let's just say it was not pretty. I could only look on with bewilderment and ask the "WWTT?" question and I still ask it today. It took me a week to get all the sand out of the bathtub and I'm still getting sand out of CJ's ears. Maybe that's why he ignores me when I call him????
From yours truly comes the #2 "WWIT? moment. This is a recent moment so it's fresh on my pitiful little mind. Are you ready for this?......I decided to take both of the kids to the grocery store by myself! For some of you this is no big deal and in fact you probably cannot relate but let me just tell you about my kids and the grocery store. My kids have found that if they act up in the grocery store, daddy is less likely to blow a fuse in public. SO, of course, even though I know they know this I thought this day was going to be different. I had it in my mind that it was going to be a strategic event: I would rush in, get my groceries and get out within 7.5 minutes, never letting the kids get a stronghold on the event and thus accomplishing the goal. The strategy was to quickly grab the one cart that has the plastic dual race car extension on the front of it so that the kids would stay in the car and act like they were driving the #8 Nascar. The other stragegy was to go directly to the isles I knew had what I needed and skip the ones that didnt. After all I knew the store well and I could probably draw a map of it. My final strategy was to completely get my kids ready by having them go potty before we went, getting them each drink cups and a finally a little snack bag to cover thier grocery store hunger. Buddy, I had it all planned out! Yea right!!!! As soon as I get to the store, the one dual race car shopping cart was no longer there. Darn....but hey no problem, I'll just live without it, I would strap Lily into the child seat and I would have CJ just run along the cart as I litterly sped to the isles. So away I went towards the specific isles I was looking for. I get to the first isle that is supposed to have bread.......uh oh....they moved the bread. In fact, they moved the entire store!!!!!! Every isle was different and nothing was the way it was supposed to be. It was like Willy Wonka had taken over as manager. It was nuts! I was looking around in anticipation for some fat little Oompa Loompa's to come out and start singing about tortilla chips or something. I can see it now..."Oompa Loompa Doopa dee do, I've got some refried beans waiting for you". It was just wierd and it was at that very moment that the wheels came competely off. I took the grand tour of the new Wonka Land Grocery Store and finally found everything I needed. Lily and CJ did an amazing job of pulling off everything (that I didn't need) in reach just to show me what it (unneeded thing) was. In fact, CJ was not only able to pull everything (that I didn't need) off the shelves on the isles we were on but before we could get to the next isle he had already pulled everything (that I didn't need) off of those shelves as well. Anyway, I was heading towards the final thing we NEEDED when the inevitible happened....Lily and CJ both had to go potty. Oh Great! So I head towards the front of the store (I think it was the front...who knows?) parked the cart by a vacant register and took the kids into the restrooms. I wont get into that fiasco but lets just say that Lily's hands got washed thoroughly that day! We come out of the restroom and head for my cart only to find that they (the oompa loompas) took my cart and put everything (THAT I NEEDED!!!) back into it's original spot. I thought I was on Candid Camera! Wow, that Mr. Wonka is a jokester. I bet he get's lots of laughs.....ha ha! Well, I eventually got everything (NEEDED THINGS) again and got out of there. There is much much more to the story but it's too painfull to bring up. I would need some therapy to get me though telling the whole story. All I can say is "WHAT WAS I THINKING?".
The mac-daddy #1 of the "WWTT?" trilogy comes from my girl Lily. Lily is the sweetest, cutest, most precious thing in the world but Lily has a dark side. Yes, daddy's little angel has a devil on her shoulder. This devil often tempts Lily to take little adventures off away from the rest of the crowd. One day this devil decided that Lily needed to go on an adventure across the street at my parents house. Normally, in any neighborhood to cross a street is no big deal, but not at my parents house...oh no, this is one of the busiest streets in town and people often reach in excess of 60 miles per hour on it simply because they can. Ok so if you can imagine, Lily sees that the front door of my parents house was not closed well and she decides to open it and head out the door. On that day Lily decided to be that famous chicken that crosses the road just to get to the other side. Well "Chicken Lily" manages to pick up an angel along the way and to the devils suprise she makes it across the road without getting hit by a car. An innocent bystander sees our little Chicken Lily, picks her up and walks around the neighborhood, banging on doors trying to figure out who's child this "under-supervised" one belonged to. When she banged on our door and told me she had Lily, I immediatly lost 47 years of my life "poof" just like that. Six wrinkles per eye suddenly appeared and all my hair turned gray within seconds. Now that I'm an 85 year old man, I feel like maybe I should have asked "What was I thinking?". I looked at Lily with such a mix of emotion but most of all I was thinking --"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???!!!!!". She just smiled, never realizing that she had done anything wrong. That folks is just how it works. You lose 47 years of life in one fell swoop and you kids just smile. I think it's a conspiracy by our kids to get us in a nursing home as soon as possible so they can take over. Rotten children....God love em!
I have a sneaky suspicion that every family has a top 3 "WWTT?" list and it comes from a much larger list of "WWTT?" moments. We had at least two happen since I started this blog, but that's ok because if our family didnt have them I would wonder if something was wrong. Our children provide hours of entertainment for Amy and me and we love them for it. What's funny is that they get thier "WWTT?" inspiration from thier mom and dad......excuse me just thier dad. It's like they look up to me to lead the way for "WWIT?" moments so that they can justify thier actions. Yea, they have a few moments of thier own that not even God can explain but for the most part they just mock thier wacky father. So for now I'll leave you (my little dream audience) with a challenge. I would love to here your little "WWTT?" moments and see if it's just me and my kids or is there other strange life forms on this planet?
I hope you enjoyed this blog. As with any of my blogs it's all just therapy for me and if someone just so happens comes across it and actually reads it, then my question to them is "What were you thinking?".
Oomp Loompa to you!
BDH
It all started one day nearly 5 years ago when my son CJ was born. Oh what a beautiful day, a day unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I got to witness the miracle of childbirth, I got to show my son off to the world and I got to share all of this with the most perfect woman in the world. What was amazing is that CJ actually slept through most of the night his first night. I thought we had we had it made UNTIL (booming music ques here..BOOM BOM BUM!) CJ choked a little in his sleep and then something very different happened to me and my wife. Something very strange and very much from the depths of our souls. Our bodies miraculously jumped up with super power swiftness and within one second we were both hovering over our little baby CJ ready to perform complicated medical procedures on him. It was unbelievable! CJ of course cleared his throat and went back to sleep. Amy and I on the other hand lost one year of our lives right then and there and we had no idea that this little episode would be just the beginning of "what were we thinking?"
Now the hour glass of life has been steadily dropping sand quicker than ever before with the birth of our second child Lily. It appears that at this rate we will be dead before this blog is finished. I say this because our kids were both born with an innate ability to shock us with their "creativity". Just today CJ decided to see what would happen if he were to stick his plastic golf club into the flame of a Citronella torch in the back yard. He found out that he no longer has a plastic golf club but instead has a golf clump. A work of art in some circles but to me it was just another case of "What was he thinking?" My daughter not to be out done by CJ-angelo, decided that she would transform her lunch of mini-pizzas into a large single tower. It leaned a little to one side and yes, you've got it, we had Lily's leaning tower of pizza. I should have bronzed it and sold it on Ebay. I don't know what she or CJ were thinking but I figured both of the kids were probably just being under-supervised by their dad and I just have to ask myself "What was I thinking?"
Now, "what were we, I, they, and you thinking?" moments happen all the time and as the title implies they don't just happen to the kids they happen to Amy, the puppies and me. I won't get into Amy's "WWIT?" moments because knowing my wife she planned what ever it was out and like any woman's decision it was just supposed to seem complex and mysterious to me as a man. My puppies have had a few "WWTT?" moments but hey, they are only 90% human so they have the excuse of having a few of those times and it's ok. The other 10% of them is a dog with very high anxiety. <- Wow that sounds alot like my anatomy. Hmmmmm? Ok, well anyway so I'll just focus on me and my kids and that's because they are my kids and they are the reason why these blogs were written to begin with. I personally hope someone who is a psychoanalyst will read this blog and give me thier best assessment of my mental condition (wacked out or really wacked out?).
I have a top 3 "What where they thinking?" moments I would like to share and hopefully other parents can relate to them. From my kids, #3 is entitled "beach head", that's because one day Lily and CJ decided to get into a fight inside the sandbox. To me that's like getting into a fight with yourself. No one wins and the more you fight the worse it is for you. Let me tell you that sand has a way of making into places that it shouldnt. You've seen the 3 stooges skits where Larry, Moe and Curly get into a pie fight and all you see of thier face are eyeballs and hole where their mouth is. That's exactly what CJ and Lily looked like except that it was dreaded sand. I got to the fight too late and by that time....well let's just say it was not pretty. I could only look on with bewilderment and ask the "WWTT?" question and I still ask it today. It took me a week to get all the sand out of the bathtub and I'm still getting sand out of CJ's ears. Maybe that's why he ignores me when I call him????
From yours truly comes the #2 "WWIT? moment. This is a recent moment so it's fresh on my pitiful little mind. Are you ready for this?......I decided to take both of the kids to the grocery store by myself! For some of you this is no big deal and in fact you probably cannot relate but let me just tell you about my kids and the grocery store. My kids have found that if they act up in the grocery store, daddy is less likely to blow a fuse in public. SO, of course, even though I know they know this I thought this day was going to be different. I had it in my mind that it was going to be a strategic event: I would rush in, get my groceries and get out within 7.5 minutes, never letting the kids get a stronghold on the event and thus accomplishing the goal. The strategy was to quickly grab the one cart that has the plastic dual race car extension on the front of it so that the kids would stay in the car and act like they were driving the #8 Nascar. The other stragegy was to go directly to the isles I knew had what I needed and skip the ones that didnt. After all I knew the store well and I could probably draw a map of it. My final strategy was to completely get my kids ready by having them go potty before we went, getting them each drink cups and a finally a little snack bag to cover thier grocery store hunger. Buddy, I had it all planned out! Yea right!!!! As soon as I get to the store, the one dual race car shopping cart was no longer there. Darn....but hey no problem, I'll just live without it, I would strap Lily into the child seat and I would have CJ just run along the cart as I litterly sped to the isles. So away I went towards the specific isles I was looking for. I get to the first isle that is supposed to have bread.......uh oh....they moved the bread. In fact, they moved the entire store!!!!!! Every isle was different and nothing was the way it was supposed to be. It was like Willy Wonka had taken over as manager. It was nuts! I was looking around in anticipation for some fat little Oompa Loompa's to come out and start singing about tortilla chips or something. I can see it now..."Oompa Loompa Doopa dee do, I've got some refried beans waiting for you". It was just wierd and it was at that very moment that the wheels came competely off. I took the grand tour of the new Wonka Land Grocery Store and finally found everything I needed. Lily and CJ did an amazing job of pulling off everything (that I didn't need) in reach just to show me what it (unneeded thing) was. In fact, CJ was not only able to pull everything (that I didn't need) off the shelves on the isles we were on but before we could get to the next isle he had already pulled everything (that I didn't need) off of those shelves as well. Anyway, I was heading towards the final thing we NEEDED when the inevitible happened....Lily and CJ both had to go potty. Oh Great! So I head towards the front of the store (I think it was the front...who knows?) parked the cart by a vacant register and took the kids into the restrooms. I wont get into that fiasco but lets just say that Lily's hands got washed thoroughly that day! We come out of the restroom and head for my cart only to find that they (the oompa loompas) took my cart and put everything (THAT I NEEDED!!!) back into it's original spot. I thought I was on Candid Camera! Wow, that Mr. Wonka is a jokester. I bet he get's lots of laughs.....ha ha! Well, I eventually got everything (NEEDED THINGS) again and got out of there. There is much much more to the story but it's too painfull to bring up. I would need some therapy to get me though telling the whole story. All I can say is "WHAT WAS I THINKING?".
The mac-daddy #1 of the "WWTT?" trilogy comes from my girl Lily. Lily is the sweetest, cutest, most precious thing in the world but Lily has a dark side. Yes, daddy's little angel has a devil on her shoulder. This devil often tempts Lily to take little adventures off away from the rest of the crowd. One day this devil decided that Lily needed to go on an adventure across the street at my parents house. Normally, in any neighborhood to cross a street is no big deal, but not at my parents house...oh no, this is one of the busiest streets in town and people often reach in excess of 60 miles per hour on it simply because they can. Ok so if you can imagine, Lily sees that the front door of my parents house was not closed well and she decides to open it and head out the door. On that day Lily decided to be that famous chicken that crosses the road just to get to the other side. Well "Chicken Lily" manages to pick up an angel along the way and to the devils suprise she makes it across the road without getting hit by a car. An innocent bystander sees our little Chicken Lily, picks her up and walks around the neighborhood, banging on doors trying to figure out who's child this "under-supervised" one belonged to. When she banged on our door and told me she had Lily, I immediatly lost 47 years of my life "poof" just like that. Six wrinkles per eye suddenly appeared and all my hair turned gray within seconds. Now that I'm an 85 year old man, I feel like maybe I should have asked "What was I thinking?". I looked at Lily with such a mix of emotion but most of all I was thinking --"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???!!!!!". She just smiled, never realizing that she had done anything wrong. That folks is just how it works. You lose 47 years of life in one fell swoop and you kids just smile. I think it's a conspiracy by our kids to get us in a nursing home as soon as possible so they can take over. Rotten children....God love em!
I have a sneaky suspicion that every family has a top 3 "WWTT?" list and it comes from a much larger list of "WWTT?" moments. We had at least two happen since I started this blog, but that's ok because if our family didnt have them I would wonder if something was wrong. Our children provide hours of entertainment for Amy and me and we love them for it. What's funny is that they get thier "WWTT?" inspiration from thier mom and dad......excuse me just thier dad. It's like they look up to me to lead the way for "WWIT?" moments so that they can justify thier actions. Yea, they have a few moments of thier own that not even God can explain but for the most part they just mock thier wacky father. So for now I'll leave you (my little dream audience) with a challenge. I would love to here your little "WWTT?" moments and see if it's just me and my kids or is there other strange life forms on this planet?
I hope you enjoyed this blog. As with any of my blogs it's all just therapy for me and if someone just so happens comes across it and actually reads it, then my question to them is "What were you thinking?".
Oomp Loompa to you!
BDH
posted by DallasHolts at
3:09 PM
1 Comments:
Okay, So I have several WWIT moments as well as WWWT moments....My best one is on Our honeymoon, Dan and I decided to go dune buggy racing...mind you that my husband is very competitive (oh, and so am I) but I have not rode or driven on one of these things, I think "Hey, it's our honeymoon...Let's give it a try and have fun!" Well, it was fun for about one lap...until Dan passed me and Sand came flying up into my face...oh, and so the ride continues and we have a few...SIX more laps to go and the only thing I can think of is to try and stay ahead of him, but OH NO, Dan isn't having that...(ah plut, sand in mouth, eyes, can't see...got to stay ahead of him...Oh no here he comes again), and again and again...He is laughing sooooo hard and thinking I am having a blast because I am laughing so hard because I don't know what else to do except think..."What was I thinking!!!"
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home