The Amazing Bathroom.

Did you guys know that Disneyland is NOT the greatest kids place on this planet? No, not Chucky Cheese's, not Six Flags, not even Sea World (which appeared in one of my other blogs). No folks the greatest kid place in the whole wide world is your very own bathroom. That's right, the place where memories are made. Where porcelain, marble and mirror change our lives forever. Let me tell you why I've come to this conclusion. You see my kids are fascinated with the bathroom or at least the concept of one single place where you can play in three forms of water. The sink, the tub and, you guessed it, the toilet...It's like a mini water park. When your children potty train you learn to deal with the sound, sight, feel and smell of your child's waste matter <- (a nice word for poop and pee). It's like God miraculously gives you this strange ability to deal with it. I'll call this the "Doody Sense". It's not like the sense of smell or eyesight instead it's more like something that alters our other five senses so that they are not as sensitive or grossed out to your child's "doody". We get the "Doody Sense" the moment our children come out of the womb. I know this first hand because my children were quick to get some doody out and I stepped right up and changed them like it was nothing. It's weird! Now other peoples children sort of stump the "Doody Sense" a little and you can still get grossed out a changing other kids diapers. For some strange reason your own childs doody sort of seems like your own so you don't mind messing with it. That's part of the "Doody Sense". In fact the "Doody Sense" works on other bodily fluids too. I could list all of those out but you know what I'm talking about. I don't get it but it the "Doody Sense" makes it all right for your kids to spew all over you. You're baby spews on you and they are still your little angel. Have another kid spew on you and they are the Devil. It's the "Doody Sense" folks - plain and simple!

The reason I bring all this up is because my kids have been known to do thier best "exploring" in the bathroom. They've realized that the sink is a great place to sit in. They've realized that the tub is only a temporary holding place for water until it can make it to the other side of the tub where the rugs and tile are. They've also realized that the toilet can and will hold a full roll of toilet paper. It won't flush but that's not thier concern, that's for Daddy to worry about. It is after all "toilet" paper....doesnt the paper want to go into it's home? If you think about it toilet paper is a fascinating thing. How do they roll it all up like that? Well my investigative kids have tried desperately to solve this mystery by unraveling a roll several times in hopes that they will find some sort of sacred words scrolled on the paper revealing the toilet rolls long lost secret. Again, leaving the unrolled paper is not my kids concern, it's mommy or daddy's, after all they put that roll there in the first place.

Other than the water rides that the bathroom holds, it seems to always have the one stray tube of toothpaste or hair gel or shaving cream left out by some silly parent. When these little jewels are found they are at least a good 20 minutes of fun for our kids. Have you seen what hair gel looks like rubbed all over your child's arms and legs? Shiny and sticky! Have you ever seen a good shaving cream hat? Foamy and white! Have you ever had a toothpaste-sicle? mmmm..Minty! When kids pull out all the floss from its container its not just the floss that becomes all tangled, you kids join in the fun too. I would love to think between the toothpaste-sicle and the 50 yards of dental floss that my kids are just trying to prevent tooth decay. Oh no, oral hygiene is not on the kiddo's plan folks.... it's just good old fashioned bathroom fun!

By the way, when children paint your bathroom with any and or all of the above mentioned things they feel a sense of accomplishment. We as parents feel a sense of something too but it's not accomplishment, oh no, its much much different. A sense of rage comes into mind for me, but that quickly changes to a sort of confusion or even amazement. I look at my kids with my painfull face, turn my head like a confused dog and ask that repeated question - "what were you thinking?" It's a question that often begs to be asked and one that usually doesnt get a logical answer. There's a whole blog full of "What were you thinking?" coming in the near future.

Oh yea, one of the best attractions of the bathroom fun park is the house of mirrors. Your bathroom mirror is the first place kids usually get to see themselves and thus find a lifelong friend. My son CJ loves to look in the mirror and make faces at his best friend, which of course is him. Lily and her best friend (her) love to look at CJ's best friend (him) make faces at CJ. Get it? They laugh at themselves like there's a comedian on stage. They once in awhile slap at their friends but its usually only after they've been sitting in the sink (another water park favorite) and have hair gel or something slimy on their hands so that they leave a mark on the glass. Again this slimy little hand mark is not thier concern. It is always mommy and daddy's problem. The mirror holds the secret to your child's second personality. You know the one that makes you ask "what were you thinking?"

Now to end this blog I must confess that I too find the bathroom to be a sacred place. For me it sort of presents itself as a place of solitude even if it's for a minute. It can however be a place where solitude can quickly change to anger if I forget to lock the door. I've forgotten to lock up from time to time and what's funny is that I believe the door knob sent out a radio transmission to my kids brain letting them know I am was in there and that they should make a suprise visit. You know how fun those suprise visits can be? Ha Ha! Love those little suprises!!!! YEA...anyway, I love my kids and I'm glad they find the bathroom so amusing but I think I need to invest in a swimming pool. For now, I'll try to keep some dry towels handy and remember stay out of the spash zone.

Sincerely yours,
Brian Holt
Director - Six Potty's Over Texas!