Why are we so freakin tired?
I think modern science is great and it seems to have endless possibilities but why on earth can't they (scientist) come up with a safe way to give parents more energy? I mean really! Is there a conspiracy to lower the average age of death in this country or something? I'm convinced, my children require maybe 30 minutes of sleep at night. No kidding! I'm also convinced that CJ dreams about waking up and Lily just closes her eyes to make us think she is sleeping. Amy and I cursed our kids (and ourselves) with lots of energy but there is a limit to the amount mom and dad have. We are tapped out! The river is dry! Lights out in London! The king has left the building! There is no more pu pu on this platter! My kids on the other hand are like Duracell batteries. They keep going and going and going....aaarrgghh! I'm thinking about tattooing a plus sign on their foreheads and minus sign on their ankles. So much energy so little time!
Of course, I remember when we had energy....we were young and full of life. Now we ...Excuse me...I am old and abused!!!! Our....excuse me again...MY shriveled up body is slowly deteriorating. My eyelids are like slabs of meat hanging from my forehead while my eyes burn like lava. Amy has the advantage of looking younger than she is and her beauty is never fleeting but don't let that fool you. You give her the opportunity to take a nap and baby it's lights out. She's so tired she could sleep on a round rock. It's amazing and I'm envious!
Now for those "prep for parenting" parents out there that are shaking their heads at me right now, let me just tell you that we too followed the same "prep" program from day 1 for both children. They go to bed at a decent hour, they don't eat too late and they don't sleep in our bed. For all practical purposes they should sleep great every night and sometimes they do but way too often they wake up in the middle of the night ready to run the 100 meter dash or slay a dragon or something strange like that. It's just weird!
I think that as a parent of over-energized kids it's my duty to come up with something that is safe and effective in getting kids to sleep all night. No, not a drug, not hypnotherapy, no instead something that can be controlled by parents and is safe for the children. Wait, I've got it! We can build an underground lair where we can send the kids at night. That's it! And every night we can put our children into capsules, like the banks have only bigger and send them down a large tube into the lair. The tube will open up to a completely padded room and voila the kids are officially in bed. It's perfect! Oh and the best part is that the room is soundproof! Oh this is good! The kids can go nuts and we won't be able to hear them! OH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! What a brilliant plan! Don't you agree? You'd be lying if you didn't.
Uh Oh! I just thought of something. We can't build an underground lair...Heck we can't even build underground tornado shelters in North Texas. It would have to be above ground and I know my son, he would find a way to get out of it! Darn! I thought I had something there. Oh well, back to the drawing board! You know the more I think about it the more I guess it's really temporary. In fact, when the kids are teenagers I'll probably beg for them to wake up in the mornings and to come out of their rooms. Isn't that crazy? I guess until then I can deal with the fact that I'm aging like a steak and that my eyes are in Hell. Things could be worse! But you know what?, I think that I'll pray anyway!
My Prayer: God, if you're listening would you please send down your duct tape angels and strap my kids in bed? Oh and because you are a God of mercy will you please heal my eyelids!
Amen!
BDH
PS. Does anyone have a good pick and shovel?
Of course, I remember when we had energy....we were young and full of life. Now we ...Excuse me...I am old and abused!!!! Our....excuse me again...MY shriveled up body is slowly deteriorating. My eyelids are like slabs of meat hanging from my forehead while my eyes burn like lava. Amy has the advantage of looking younger than she is and her beauty is never fleeting but don't let that fool you. You give her the opportunity to take a nap and baby it's lights out. She's so tired she could sleep on a round rock. It's amazing and I'm envious!
Now for those "prep for parenting" parents out there that are shaking their heads at me right now, let me just tell you that we too followed the same "prep" program from day 1 for both children. They go to bed at a decent hour, they don't eat too late and they don't sleep in our bed. For all practical purposes they should sleep great every night and sometimes they do but way too often they wake up in the middle of the night ready to run the 100 meter dash or slay a dragon or something strange like that. It's just weird!
I think that as a parent of over-energized kids it's my duty to come up with something that is safe and effective in getting kids to sleep all night. No, not a drug, not hypnotherapy, no instead something that can be controlled by parents and is safe for the children. Wait, I've got it! We can build an underground lair where we can send the kids at night. That's it! And every night we can put our children into capsules, like the banks have only bigger and send them down a large tube into the lair. The tube will open up to a completely padded room and voila the kids are officially in bed. It's perfect! Oh and the best part is that the room is soundproof! Oh this is good! The kids can go nuts and we won't be able to hear them! OH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! What a brilliant plan! Don't you agree? You'd be lying if you didn't.
Uh Oh! I just thought of something. We can't build an underground lair...Heck we can't even build underground tornado shelters in North Texas. It would have to be above ground and I know my son, he would find a way to get out of it! Darn! I thought I had something there. Oh well, back to the drawing board! You know the more I think about it the more I guess it's really temporary. In fact, when the kids are teenagers I'll probably beg for them to wake up in the mornings and to come out of their rooms. Isn't that crazy? I guess until then I can deal with the fact that I'm aging like a steak and that my eyes are in Hell. Things could be worse! But you know what?, I think that I'll pray anyway!
My Prayer: God, if you're listening would you please send down your duct tape angels and strap my kids in bed? Oh and because you are a God of mercy will you please heal my eyelids!
Amen!
BDH
PS. Does anyone have a good pick and shovel?
posted by DallasHolts at
12:09 PM
1 Comments:
I really thought I was the only Fellowship parent who followed "prep" who was experiencing this phenomenon! Every time I look at Reia with that perfect complection, beautiful, naturally highlighted blonde hair and bloundless energy I think--Youth is wasted on the young!
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